As I watch dancer after dancer float, or stomp, across the stage, I can’t help but compare myself to them.
My mind says terribe things.
They are so much skinnier than me.
They move so much more gracefully than me.
They’re so much better at dancing.
I should be that flexible.
I try to find reasons why. They pay way more money than I do.
They put in more hours.
They try harder.
They have a different goal.
That doesn’t always work and I blame myself.
I need to work harder.
I need to break myself to reach that.
But then I backtrack.
I try so hard.
I am a healthy person.
My life is just as full as theirs.
I have a creative outlet.
Then I start to feel bad for these broken dancers.
So much pressure.
So many people judging every move.
So many things to balance in everyday life.
I have my goals, they have theirs. Mine aren’t set as high so I can perfect what I do. I learn, they learn. We all can coexist without a reason for who is better.
You’ve touched on one of the toughest parts of being human, and in my opinion, it’s especially hard for us girls. Comparison is the pits. There’s so much I love about this piece though. I really feel like develops – it follows your thought process and leads you to a resolution that I think you are content with. Contentment is the “cure” for comparison.
My favorite line is – “But then I backtrack.” because here is where you realize that those terrible things your mind says don’t have to be what define you.