Author Archives: Julia S.

I believe that it’s human nature to inherently love learning. Many people “hate” classes and school simply because they are an expectation, but everyone likes some form of education. Finding out a new aquintence’s favorite color, listening to stories from people’s childhood, anf discovering new games and activities are all forms of learning in daily life. Throughout the day, I periodically stepped back to realize the pure happiness that came each time I learned something new. All of a sudden, anxiety for the future was relieved, and I realized that nothing can hold me back if I’m excited and willing to learn everything I possibly can. Success comes to those who enjoy their responsibilities.

Today, I am empowered by International Women’s Day.

As I’m asked to plan my entire life in a few short years (sometimes days), I can’t help but feel afraid. “What if” questions swirl in my head, and I allow them to make decisions for me. My dreams of the future seem so distant and unreachable that I am scared to even try. The process continues while I ponder. Just when it seemed like stress might get the best of me this time, a light appears to pull me from the darkness. People all around me are living an enjoyable life, and they had to make the same impossible decisions I’m making. If there are successful people in the world, why can’t one of them be me? My mother provides the most important level-headed yet caring responses to my woes, and I realize that women are such incredible role models that I don’t have to stress; I just have to take the road that has been laid for me and add my own creative flair.

Head pounding

Body aching

Nose burning

Throat dry

Eyes watering

Brain numb

One call

Two words

Snow day

Day made

I feel like my whole life is spent trying to get out of the way of others. Maybe not always physically, but at least once a day I consciously avoid doing things to disrupt other’s lives. It started as a method of conveying manners and being polite in public, but it’s evolution became toxic. Every decision I make is clouded with various possible consequences. It has led to my so-called success, but it has also led to the 2D individual that I have become. Nothing deep seems worth sharing because so many other people have more important ideas and plans that I don’t want to take attention away from.

This is the main cause of my March mission. I need to teach myself to trust that people may care about things other than the superficial. After reflecting on today, I understand that hiding is not helping and it may even be hurting.

My last few posts have covered the same theme of overanalyzing life. Today, I want to take it back a few paces and be real. It is exhausting to search each day for a deeper meaning, so taking a break from that felt incredible. As far as a lesson of the day goes, that is all I have to offer. Allowing myself to just live can be as healthy as learning who I am.

A few minutes ago, I had nothing to write about. My mind was full, but nothing significant decided to make an appearance. Searching through the abyss, I realized that the search could be a lesson itself. Sometimes, just existing and thriving in what you do can denote a successful day. Experiencing people from many different lives and understanding that a lot of things brought you to this exact moment can be exhilarating. Nothing extraordinary has to happen for one to realize that life is, in fact, extraordinary.

“We are all addicted to something that ruins us.” -Quotes ‘nd Notes

A fairly uneventful day leaves much time for pondering all of life’s concerns. Today, I realized a very important part of my life that holds me back from the true success I crave. The addiction in my life is that of relaxation. I have allowed movies, books, and music to choose what I understand to be relaxing, and it creates a toxic environment. Through hours of isolation and brain numbing activity, nothing can be achieved. All week I wait and wait for a time when I can sit and do nothing with no plans and no time limit, yet that time never actually brings me joy. I’m left feeling dull and sick; consuming enough food to make up for a busy week can do that to a person. Satisfaction can never be a product of listlessness.

Ending this cycle is difficult because I believe it has been sewn into the very cloth of my being since birth, but understanding the issue gives me a means to start. I can now adapt to a different life where I catch the little thoughts that lead to my demise and create progressive ideas from9 them. Part of learning new things about myself this month is fixing the things that so desperately need it. Really, I learned a few things about myself today.

The question, “how was school?,” often goes unanswered. Nothing ever seems to be important enough to share with others who have their own lives. Today was different. As I walked through the door, excitement burst out of me because so much had happened. The school day was filled with TV interviewers, new classes, volunteering stories, experiences at the chiropractor, and news of another school shooting. Words swirled across my mind, as I made attempts to pick out the best ones with which to explain my day.

My goal for March is to learn something new about myself each day. Today, I learned that even if nothing happens to me, I can still find excitement in the experiences of others.

There is something to be said about growing as a person. It is the sole purpose of life. At the same time, there is something to be said about learning who you are before taking those next steps.

The last 11 months have been incredibly eye opening and wonderful, but they have also pushed me farther from my individual self. This month, and these reflections, are my chance to develop a personality beyond my plans. I’m going to give it my all.

At last the day has come to end this annual tradition. I can’t help but feel relieved by the thought of no longer reminding myself constantly to write. This match has been one of the most overwhelming in a long time, and the writing I used to love no longer seems as riveting. Next year maybe I will have a better grip on the reality that is high school, and the SOLSC can once again become my favorite past times. This is Julia signing over and out.